Thursday, February 10, 2011

I Really Didn't Know

So the big news I was so excited about on Friday was.... nothing. On Monday it got squashed like a mosquitto on the windshield of a Porshe at 200mph. It wasn't pretty. And at that moment I finally realized just how much stress I've been living with for the past 2 years. Stress that has permeated everything in my life - including my weight loss - and that because it's "always been there" I didn't really see how deep it was.

Two years ago my house got searched by the RCMP. It all had to do with "Clean Flicks" movies. I won't go into the whole legal battle here (someday...) but we've been fighting without being able to fight for almost two years. The first year was a year of complete unknown. Then, finally when deadlines were nearing they finally charged us. Then we fought for a couple of months (and court appearances) to get disclosure from the crown so that we could even enter a plea and then get to go to trial (and spend more legal money). We STILL do not have a trial date. On Friday I was told that the crown was going to drop all the charges against me (put simply, I have a "get of jail free card" and they KNOW they can't win.) - but with the weather on Monday court was cancelled and so nothing was put in front of the court, and, well, the battle goes on.

On Friday, for the first time in two years, I felt that burden completely lift. I felt "normal" - and then on Monday I felt it all come crushing down on me again. The sudden swing was the catalyst to make me see just how bad it was. I've known all along that it was there (kind of hard to forget that) but never really understood just how bad that stress was.

So, now we have another date to go before the court (it's another month away) - but I've heard nothing further from the Crown as to where they're at anymore. Long story, but there's some politics involved, too. I really do look forward to the day when I can finally tell the WHOLE story.

Anyway, weight is moving down, but not near as fast as I'd have expected. I'm glad that I took measurements, 'cause I've been able to see some of those shrinking even if the scale isn't co-operating much right now. I'm looking forward to next week having a meeting with Doc to get all the juicy details on my scan from last week.

That's it for now!

1 comment:

Barb said...

Rob, not that I am pretending to be a teenager but "that sucks!" I know a little bit about holding and hiding stress. Wish I could offer some wicked wise advice but I got nothing. Except remember you always have friends that really care about you!!