To THE PAIN!

I actually think I used this title once before. (March 2009 when I started hitting the gymn again.) But, the movie is such a good one, and there really isn't anything else that describes my thoughts.

First - I learned a valuable lesson this last week - just because someone isn't a "follower" of my blog doesn't mean it's not being read. Second: I have a nasty habit of opening my mouth a little bigger to stick my foot in a little further.

I've realized that when I write here I tend to "tailor" my comments to my percieved audience. I guess that comes from talking about money all the time. However, this is really supposed to be me talking to me - and letting whoever wants to drop in to this crazy, mixed-up part of my head listen in.

A big THANK-YOU goes out to Duanne for his help in getting my computrainer back up and going. I've been without a computer to run it (it's OLD stuff, and I just didn't have anything old enough to run it!) since my "friends" from the RCMP stopped by and siezed it. - he gave me an old laptop and POOF! I'm off and riding in my basement again. It's so much better than my rollers. I like rollers - great for improving my form and balance - but long rides on the rollers make things go a little numb, and standing for any length of time is difficult.

Of course, the disappointing thing is how far down my performance numbers are from a year ago!

I love my computrainer - it's basically a regular rear-tire mount bicyle trainer - except that for the resistance there's a cable that runs to this cool little box, and that runs to a computer. As the terrain changes (up hill or downhill - or even drafting!) the resistance is adjusted. All the while it monitors and records heart rate, cadence, watt output, leftleg/rightleg balance, time, etc. (and shows it all on the screen while hammering along.)

So this morning I went for a little 30km ride with a little climb in the middle. I was disappointed that my average wattage output has slipped by 60-65 watts. My max is almost half what it used to be. I worked hard this morning - and now that I've got it set-up, I can work hard again and get those numbers up in time to do some racing. Johnny, LOOK OUT! I'm coming for ya man!

On another note: I've gotten my numbers back from my DEXXA scan. Wow. I guess I'm going to have to hit the gymn. I've got some serious muscle imbalances. Pretty hard to correct those through running or cycling. The news wasn't all that great - but at least it tells the whole story and I know where I'm at now. I hope to be able to have another one this summer and that it'll tell a whole different story.

A special thank-you to my wife who is always so encouraging when I get down about where I'm at.

I Really Didn't Know

So the big news I was so excited about on Friday was.... nothing. On Monday it got squashed like a mosquitto on the windshield of a Porshe at 200mph. It wasn't pretty. And at that moment I finally realized just how much stress I've been living with for the past 2 years. Stress that has permeated everything in my life - including my weight loss - and that because it's "always been there" I didn't really see how deep it was.

Two years ago my house got searched by the RCMP. It all had to do with "Clean Flicks" movies. I won't go into the whole legal battle here (someday...) but we've been fighting without being able to fight for almost two years. The first year was a year of complete unknown. Then, finally when deadlines were nearing they finally charged us. Then we fought for a couple of months (and court appearances) to get disclosure from the crown so that we could even enter a plea and then get to go to trial (and spend more legal money). We STILL do not have a trial date. On Friday I was told that the crown was going to drop all the charges against me (put simply, I have a "get of jail free card" and they KNOW they can't win.) - but with the weather on Monday court was cancelled and so nothing was put in front of the court, and, well, the battle goes on.

On Friday, for the first time in two years, I felt that burden completely lift. I felt "normal" - and then on Monday I felt it all come crushing down on me again. The sudden swing was the catalyst to make me see just how bad it was. I've known all along that it was there (kind of hard to forget that) but never really understood just how bad that stress was.

So, now we have another date to go before the court (it's another month away) - but I've heard nothing further from the Crown as to where they're at anymore. Long story, but there's some politics involved, too. I really do look forward to the day when I can finally tell the WHOLE story.

Anyway, weight is moving down, but not near as fast as I'd have expected. I'm glad that I took measurements, 'cause I've been able to see some of those shrinking even if the scale isn't co-operating much right now. I'm looking forward to next week having a meeting with Doc to get all the juicy details on my scan from last week.

That's it for now!

Ummm - WHAT? REALLY?!

That line completely describes my last week. I can't go into much detail right now (hopefully more on Monday) but in virtually every aspect of my life and stress there's been major developments.

Sorry for it being just a teaser, but I AM excited and wanted to let the vast world of my followers (all one of you!) know it, but can't put any details out there just yet.

So, until next week...